Something Last A Long Time
There's a picture on my wall. The colours are pastel. The blue is ice and pure, and the peach is sweet. I have another copy of that picture in my wallet. Crumpled.
I want to tell you that I used to bring a picture of a stranger in my wallet.
In 2010, I was working in an office and then there's a person who came and applied for something. He brought extra pictures of him. One of it fell. I said, "Eh, that's a chip of your soul on the floor." But he didn't seem to bother to pick it up. So I took the picture. I looked at the pic for long, and I really liked it. So I kept it.
I brought that very picture for six years in my wallet. I know It's a picture of someone I didn't even know. But I thought it was comforting. It felt like I had known that guy well, and he's been my precious loyal friend, accompanying my travel.
Although it's just a notion, a delusional one precisely, but I felt less alone. It's like when I was tired I just cracked open my wallet and found the picture and said, "Aha, there you are. Old friend."
The sad part was that I lost that picture in St Petersburg in 2016. That's when I worked as a waiter in a cruise ship. I got a few hours break so I could hop off the ship. I was so captivated with my first Europe experience that when a dude snatched my wallet and apologized, I said "no problemo." I bid adieu to the pic and tips money for a whole month. so bodoh.
In 2017 I have a new wallet and I put a picture of a dinner party in which I pretended to be a seal in it. I used chopsticks as my fangs. Sat next to me was my first love.
I showed that picture to my brother during a trip, and he asked me, "Why are you still keeping the picture (if you guys are not talking anymore)?"
"I don't have anything to replace it with," I said calmly. I meant I was happy in that very moment in the picture. Happiness is elusive, but I captured that one on the pic. So, it's a memento, right?
But perhaps bro was concerned.
Later that week, I had another replacement picture. This is the picture I talked about in the beginning, that i still keep until today.
So, I discarded that seal one.
I will not blame anybody if they think I'm weird. Well It's boring being the same flamingo.