today's dream

It's 3 pm and I just woke up. I went to that rice stall nearby and sat in front of the aquarium, looking at the small fish. I needed to eat no matter what, though I didn't have much appetite. I like this place not only because it's the nearest, it's cheap and it has that aquarium. In which I realized as days gone by, the caretaker of the aquarium has been doing a marvelous job. 

In my dream today i met my parents. My father became very kind, he hugged me long. I had toxic epiphany that he cared about me all along. He loved me and in my dream i believed that. When I woke up I thought about how someone's abusive care about you? It's nonsense. Was it because of him i grew up like this? Identifying pain as love or affection?

I didn't think about my parents before bed. This must be because I read the first chapter of Eribon Didier's Retour à Reims novel. He talked about his parents. Maybe my unconscious somewhere lurking with his grin ready to input idea about my parents in that dream when I was reading that chapter. My unconscious is always a menace.

Anyway, in the dream I also got a massive hair loss which very new to me (usually tooth loss). Psychologicaly it said that it's a sign of helplessness and feeling not confident. According to Java primbon, it means that I'm facing a very bad luck.



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