he whispered a fond adieu
Dear friends & lovers, abundance thankyous for your help, kindness and money. I have found a place and moving out today. Each time I think about your messages I started to bawl, and still until now. There's no help is too small;
Now I'm presenting you my room, the box that I bade adieu to this morning. I had lived in this very box for the last four years, the quasi full-time writer life. Feel free to inspect and ask me anything about it. I was sad to leave but choices were limited. In this very room, I wrote three novels (one published, two in the publishing process) and a novella in English.
This was where I wrote emails or texts that you've received, the spot where I was sorely missing you, on the bed every afternoon, on the floor lying because it was too hot on the bed,
corners where I threw up because I didn't make it to the restroom, this was where I doodled, scribbled, composed, giggled, and most of the time, whimpered.
The place where I lurked and read your daily updates. The box where most things happened.
It's crumpled, uneasy, cluttered, reeked of cigarette, and had witnessed my crazies and sexies for some past 1000 days. If these walls could talk they'd be asking me why did I laugh.
There's a tripod to take my pics that you've seen here, a small table to host my tablet PC. I don't even own a proper computer or laptop, my chummy TV, bottles of vodka just for a party with 'me', a small collection of books and some notes on the wall. Used to have lots of pictures, paintings on a side, I ripped them off a couple of days ago.
You asked me where I was, that's where I am. No one has really visited but a friend, came three times this year to order some online food.
You asked me how I wrote or became obsessed, or depressed, you see this was my world, I'm showing it to you now. This was my only space.
Not gonna show you my new rent right now, it's the same price, but maybe in another four years.
With much love and gratitude,